A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, the man says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him, "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..." The man sighs and says, "It’s started". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?" Johnny replies, "Legs." So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?" "Pockets," Johnny replies. Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?" "Rome," is his answer. With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks, "Well, shall we pass him?" "Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, "Howard. You're a veterinarian."
Thanks I'm trying, let the games continue. I see you are in New Mexico, are you close to House NM? If so I have a good friend that lives there.
I don't know where House, New Mexico is but I do live in Los Alamos, New Mexico. I am about 35 minutes North and West of Santa Fe, New Mexico, in the atomic city. The birth place of the Atomic Bomb. LT.
two old ladies are sitting on a park bench one day just chatting like always, when one asked the other " do you still get horny after all these years?" and the woman responded " of course i do. its human nature." so then the old lady asked what she does when she gets horny, and the lady replies " i suck on a life saver." the other lady looked confused for a moment and then asked "who drives you to the beach so you can do that!!!!???"
